i escaped upstate. the snow came down in dreamy droves wednesday evening into the next day. i managed my way up anyways. grand central is a beautiful, expansive, romantic place. it felt good to be reminded of that passing through the station.
the weekend, which is still occurring, was bliss. i have one more night here yet i’m confident to say it was a heart opening success without waking in tomorrow. my curious yogi and i connected thursday evening in a house on fire with bright light and actual flame. the wine was deep and called for fuller conversation, the kind that only wine brings out in you.
as i rolled up in bed yesterday and let my sleepy eyes open last, i felt the quiet you feel standing in the middle of a child-made snow cave. save for two cats as company, i was alone. and there was finally distance from my city home. i walked in a long hallway, heard only my footsteps fall and gazed out of a window wall. this place, this space, this asking of peace and calm, it is everything and more.
the practice takes place at the end of the long walk, where the house also meets it end. the view is of the near patio and of the buddha tranquilly sitting afar. the meditation takes place in the only way it can. with the deep looking in, connecting to the center of it all.
it’s essential to escape. upstate is just the name. the action and process shines through and the layers shed all the same. i encourage those moments. to feel what needs to be felt in a place in my mind, or where i place my body, to feel what hurts, what’s hard, what’s feeling ill-fit. it’s always been an exploration without conclusion, a journey with no end. i welcome the confusion, the blurring of lines between the good and the bad. i’m here watching the fire turn yellow-orange to translucent red to burnt ebony black to smoldering ash. the heat from the space between the fire and i is cooling but the intensity of my energy is building within.